My introduction to Bernadine was back in Trinidad just after I was born. I don’t remember this but Bernie told me that when I was brought home from the hospital she was so upset that I had usurped her role as the baby of the family the she would walk over to my crib and pinch me. When Mammy asked her why I was crying she would deny any knowledge and just pinch me again. Bernie loved being the baby of the family but now she was my big sister and, while initially unhappy with this role, she grew into it and looked out for me.
Bernie was very smart and so beautiful. She grew up in Queens NY but really blossomed, when she moved to Miami in her early twenties. Bernie attended the University of Miami, drove a fancy sportscar and got an even fancier apartment on Miami Beach. While I visited for the view of Biscayne Bay from her balcony her nieces and nephews visited because she always had a big bowl of peanut M & Ms on her dining room table. Plus she always made us lasagne when we visited. She tended to our sophisticated culinary needs. Bernie loved her nieces and nephews so much and indulged them as often as she could buying them fancy video games, always remembering their birthdays by mailing them tissue wrapped packages of seashell chocolates, jelly beans, toys and clothes and calling them her cuties.
Bernie dressed very chicly and developed an almost unhealthy Victoria’s Secret habit. She even bought her business suits from the Victoria’s Secret catalog. She also, ironically, had a Tweety Bird habit. Many of the treasured objects in her apartment were Tweety themed and she generally padded around in oversized, fluffy Tweety slippers.
When Bernie moved to Raleigh, NC she started a new phase in her life. She was so brave, moving out here without a job or an apartment; but she garnered both very quickly. The only thing she did not get very quickly was furniture. Bernie lived with an airbed and one folding chair for months. I don’t think she ever got furniture until she met and moved in with her Ricky.
Bernie never had children but she had her doggies. She loved them as her family. Her first dog was a barky, snarling German Shepard named Jake. She would baby talk with her little Jakey while he side eyed us and tried to take big bites out of us. Then came her fluff ball Bear who truly was as sweet as Bernie said. We could pet and cuddle him. Both of these fur babies crossed that Rainbow bridge in the past few years which devastated our Bernie. But I expect that they are with her now licking her face and snuggling with her and making her welcome on the other side and I’m sure that Jake is protecting her as always. Bernie leaves behind her doggies Max, Bently and Riley who miss her dearly. Last Christmas when she visited with Riley I didn’t think the puppy had legs because she never let him out of her arms. She drew such great comfort from her pets.
Bernadine loved her Ricky almost as much as the dogs. They met at work and married quickly since they knew that they had each found their person. When they started dating Bernie kept gushing about what a gentleman Ricky was, he’s such a gentleman she said, BUT he’s got this thing about ducks. Apparently Ricky had brought stale bread on their first date so he could feed the ducks at the park. I’d like to say that it was nauseating the affection and all the pet names they continually lavished on each other but it really was sweet.
Our mom and dad both came from large families so we have numerous cousins, somewhere in the neighborhood of 35 or more and Bernie is the first of our generation to go gently into that good night. She’s again thrust into the role of big sister who has to lead the way into that undiscovered country and look out for all of us.
I’ll miss her style, her acerbic wit, her kindness and definitely her lasagne. She’s with our parents now watching over us. So, to honor our Bernie, take care of yourselves, take care of each other and think of our Bernadine often to keep her alive in our hearts.
unbecomingjane 